top of page

My thoughts on the Universe, and Unusual Train Rides.

HAPPY 2013.

mY nEW nEW years rESOLUTIONS:

We all have unrealised goals and dreams. This is my year to realise those dreams.

Dream 1: To pounce on a Snow Leopard when it is least expecting it (not that it would ever expect that so any time to pounce is a good time, as it is always at it's optimum value in that respect.) Please note, a Snow Leopard is an endangered species and I would never hurt it - all this would be done in good fun.

Check back for more unexpected New Years Resolutions, and a poem reflecting on these resolutions, looking back at the opening minutes of 2013.

But first an amazing fact followed by a story for underprivileged children and also homeless pets.

Amazing Fact: The average life span of an earth worm is 6 years in the wild .

JOKE OF THE DAY:

A woman walked into a bar.  Her friend was sitting down looking a bit sad. "Why the long face?" Inquired the woman. 

"My horse just died" replied her friend.

 

Story: COLIN FARGROVE AND THE STOLEN SHOES.

As I boarded the train for Stuttgart [German pronunciation: [ˈʃtʊtɡaɐ̯t] ( listen),]

I caught the eye of a man. It was a glass eye. It was a lucky catch. As I carefully handed back his eye, the man held my gaze as if to say 'hello, my name is Colin Fargrove'. I moved away, unnerved by the real elephant on the train: his inability to achieve true depth perception.  Then, as though he had seen right through me he spoke: "Hello, my name is Colin Fargrove." Fearing he would hamper me on this long

journey with funny anecdotes about his childhood, I looked down at his feet. "I see you like my shoes, he muttered - they're stolen"  .....

   ... To be continued*

*a cliff hangar

 

 

joke of the week:

I forgot Remembrance Day

 

And Now Some Amazing Historical References on Wool:

 

Between 300 and 100 BC the Persians did things with wool we can only dream of.  Then came the Romans who built a magnificent empire and a wool plant in Winchester. 

Meanwhile the Saracens conquered Spain and the English invited Flemish people to tea.

The wool industry thrived.  Exciting times lay ahead indeed - such as the Spinning Jenny and the water powered Loom, resulting in colourful woolen bonnets worn mainly by people.

Wool continues to be worn today.

 

 

 

 

SELF HELP CORNER:

People are always asking me for advice, and I'm shit at it.  I should run a self help workshop, take everyone's money and then say "why are you asking me? It's called 'Self Help'. Now work it out!"

 

 

 

 

 

'A Day to be Remembered' - by k roxburgh

Little Miss Busy Bee, refusing a backwards jump at the fancy dress dog agility event, went tumbling into Ms Hargroves Cake A-Doodle-Do baking display, causing untold damage.

As luck would have it, the Kent Air Ambulance Brigade were close at hand.  These were men who had no time for tom-foolery.

 

 

 

 

SAFETY TIPS OF THE DAY:

A JELLY FISH, FROZEN WITH FEAR, CAN STILL BE DANGEROUS IF INNOCENTLY MISTAKEN FOR A USEFUL PIECE OF PERSPEX.

 

 

BUT FIRST, SOME ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Dorothy Elizabeth Hume, a friend and neighbour, is the center of controversy this week as her Grade II Victorian villa becomes home to an art exhibition featuring fragmented wooden wardrobe fragranced hangars (making a reappearance after their success in 2001), and Nikki Holden's funky fabric Japanese Inspired Ceramics - comprised of recycled jewelry from the Megan Edwards collection. 

Thanks Megan for doing your bit for the environment!

bottom of page